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 Weeks ago, I started a post.  I did not publish it. Then I started again. Never hit publish I thought about what I wanted to say.   And didn't write anything down. In each of these instances, I ended up in tears.  Finally, I spoke with my husband and my friends about what had been bothering me.  Chrissy Teigan had recently announced that her son had been stillborn. This is devastating. I was so sad for her and her family. I was also jealous. She held her baby, for however short of a time it was.  But she got the privilege of holding him. I was not so lucky. 24 years ago, I was dating a great guy and had discovered that I was pregnant. We were excited and began making plans for our future.  Sometime later, I was bleeding.  Doctors discovered there was no longer a baby. It was early enough in the pregnancy that this could happen.  I was young.  There would be more.  I wanted that one, though. My first baby.  The loss hurt. ...
Recent posts

A Lady of Leisure

 After we dropped my daughter off at school, and managed to survive the last few days, we 'took it easy'.   Usually our lazy days are on Sunday.  They aren't really lazy days, but since we are doing something different from the usual it seems that way. On Saturday, though, we just had an actual lazy day. We slept in and basically sat around the living room watching Netflix.  I did some prep work for school, which starts tomorrow, and we did our regular chores that must be done, like feeding animals and milking goats.  The rest of the time we just sat on our asses.  It was lovely. We made arrangements for a video chat tomorrow afternoon with the girl child.  I want to pretend that she's excited to talk to us, but I'm thinking she's more happy about seeing the cats. Before she left, she asked for a blanket.  Specifically a blanket that I make.  In blue and pink squares.  So I've off and on been looking into a blanket pattern and an ea...

Its Been a Minute

 A few days ago, we dropped our youngest off for her Freshman year of college. It was pretty rough, and I guess I'm still processing. Because of Covid, we weren't allowed much time in her dorm with her, and I think her own anxiety was really high, so we didn't do all of the stuff that was planned.  Plus I was crying before we even got to the point where we were leaving. The last I saw of her, she was standing in her dorm room, peeking out of the door watching me walk to the stairs. That hurt. I sat outside the hall, in my mask, crying while I waited for my husband to make his way back around. While she is mourning being away from home for a far more extended time than she's ever been, she's also not just sitting around.  She's been doing classes here at home for a while, so she's continuing on with that, but I guess she's also making friends around the dorm, which is great.  None of her good friends are there with her, but she's made some friends in ...

It's Time to Get Serious

 I literally have 4 posts in my drafts that say the same damn thing in them.  They're all just started on different days after different things had happened to keep me from actually posting them.   In the interim, I've actually finished the shawl I was working on that was the focus of all of those posts, so here's a post about it and the reveal! I finally got the desire to actually knit something.  Since the holidays, there have been several false starts on projects that are in various stages of 'the beginning' or have just been undone.  This one, though, I got pretty far on and when I did put it down, I actually picked it back up. To be completely honest, there were a few false starts on this project itself, as I figured out what I wanted to do and what yarn I wanted to use.   My biggest hurdle was discovering that my swift is missing.  I had a nice cushy set up in the back that quickly, when I stopped 'working' on my business, became the bl...

Umm, Yea.. OK

So, turns out this is the second start of the same post... The first of which I started like a week ago... I'm really great about remembering to post. NOT! Anyway, I thought I'd post about how we got here, where we live today, in the White Mountains area of Arizona. On January 20, 2015 I was involved in an accident.  It could have been way worse than it was, but I saw it coming.  I realized the lady behind me wasn't going to be able to slow down enough to stop at the red light.  So I started to move from her path.  I didn't make it.  I was rear-ended and sent spinning across the street, hitting my head, most likely on the steering wheel (I'm still not sure, after all these years but that makes the most sense).  Once the car stopped spinning, the rear tire of the car was on the sidewalk and there was blood coming from my face.  I wrongly assumed it was my nose that was bleeding but every time I took my hand away from my nose, there wasn't any blood....b...

Welcome to the Jungle

Here's my inaugural post on yet another blog I decided to start.  Whoop! Here's where you'll find pictures and stories about what the heck is going on at our little mini farm that apparently grows nothing but boy babies! We moved in 5 years ago, and ever since we've slowly been growing into a little farm.  Last year we grew vegetables and vegetable plant pests.  This year, we're growing babies and eggs! This spring we were blessed with 4 baby goats.  All male. Then the dog had puppies.  Also, all male. The land is obviously cursed and I am glad I can't have babies anymore, because the dog, my daughter and I are already outnumbered! Now there are 15 male beings on this property, and only 5 females.  Absolutely ridiculous. Keep watching and we pray and make sacrifices to rid the land of the curse.  Just kidding about the sacrifices.  At least the animal sacrifices. Watch as we put blood sweat and tears into trying to make this shit work...