Weeks ago, I started a post. I did not publish it. Then I started again. Never hit publish I thought about what I wanted to say. And didn't write anything down. In each of these instances, I ended up in tears. Finally, I spoke with my husband and my friends about what had been bothering me. Chrissy Teigan had recently announced that her son had been stillborn. This is devastating. I was so sad for her and her family. I was also jealous. She held her baby, for however short of a time it was. But she got the privilege of holding him. I was not so lucky. 24 years ago, I was dating a great guy and had discovered that I was pregnant. We were excited and began making plans for our future. Sometime later, I was bleeding. Doctors discovered there was no longer a baby. It was early enough in the pregnancy that this could happen. I was young. There would be more. I wanted that one, though. My first baby. The loss hurt. ...
After we dropped my daughter off at school, and managed to survive the last few days, we 'took it easy'. Usually our lazy days are on Sunday. They aren't really lazy days, but since we are doing something different from the usual it seems that way. On Saturday, though, we just had an actual lazy day. We slept in and basically sat around the living room watching Netflix. I did some prep work for school, which starts tomorrow, and we did our regular chores that must be done, like feeding animals and milking goats. The rest of the time we just sat on our asses. It was lovely. We made arrangements for a video chat tomorrow afternoon with the girl child. I want to pretend that she's excited to talk to us, but I'm thinking she's more happy about seeing the cats. Before she left, she asked for a blanket. Specifically a blanket that I make. In blue and pink squares. So I've off and on been looking into a blanket pattern and an ea...